Communicating is a crucial and inevitable part of our day-to-day, but it’s not always as simple as the flow of back and forth. The way we communicate has a massive impact on our overall life satisfaction. When we’re able to communicate confidently and effectively, we’re more likely to feel accepted, supported, and at ease with ourselves and those around us. Naturally, most of us know and understand this, but practically speaking, it can be difficult to engage with those around us when we have low confidence. 

Studies have shown that more than 70% of people fear public speaking and that 15% to 30% suffer from public speaking disorder. It’s clear that many of us don’t feel confident in communicating, and without that confidence, we are limited in how we express and show up for ourselves and others.

In the Confidence Boost Challenge, Personal and Professional Development Coach, Aliya Rajah shares six ways to improve self-confidence and feel more empowered.

1. Identify Your Barrier To Feeling Confident

We can’t move forward in life feeling confident if we aren’t aware of what is holding us back. There are probably certain areas in life where you are more comfortable and confident, and then other avenues where you know you’re feeling restricted. 

If you take a moment to sit back and reflect on what it is that is holding you back from feeling confident, you might be quite surprised. With our busy schedules, we don’t often take the time to reflect and analyze, but becoming conscious of the negative stories we often tell ourselves can help us reframe them into something more uplifting and positive. 

You might find that many of the things you have been telling yourself are not true; they’re self-limiting beliefs. Now that you’re aware of any shortcomings, we can move into a space of acknowledgment, acceptance, and development. Confronting your fears will help you conquer them and move forward with confidence.

Affirmations, through repetition, help to slowly train new thought patterns and ideas into your mind to replace self-limiting beliefs. Try Affirmations For A Confidence Boost Meditation to help cultivate more confidence in your life.

2. Mentally Create The 2.0 Version Of Yourself

Visualization is robust, with research showing that your brain uses many of the same pathways when you visualize as if you were physically living out the experience—the mind and what you believe can propel you forward or hold you back from feeling confident. 

If you continually focus on where you are now rather than where you could be, you remain stagnant in self-limiting beliefs. Have a picture of the ideal person you’d like to be and try to get into the details of how you would think, feel and act. Imagine the life that you’d be living as the 2.0 version of yourself and let the vision come alive in your mind - making use of all of your senses. The more you focus on this, the more possibilities will start to feel in reach.

3. Work From The Outside, In

Looking at confidence as a whole can help you feel confident in all parts of your life. By taking all facets into account, you are making confidence both internal and external. In Aliya’s Confidence Boost Challenge, she explains that communication is 7% verbal, 38% tonality, and 55% body language. When you connect well with someone, you feel confident and the relationship is more likely to progress.

Wear clothing that makes you feel proud and good about yourself to boost your confidence. Take an afternoon to throw out items that don’t resonate with the 2.0 version of yourself, and focus on what makes you feel comfortable and confident. Confidence is also expressed through body language from the way you stand, walk, and use hand gestures to facial expressions and even your ability to hold eye contact when communicating.

4. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

When we’re constantly looking at those around us, we miss the opportunities to be grateful for all that we have. It can be difficult to stop comparing ourselves to those around us when we’re constantly inundated with highlight moments on social media, but it’s so important to remember that everyone has their struggles regardless of what is posted online. Just as we are inclined to compare, so are the people you are comparing yourself to.

To reframe comparisons, try to see someone else’s success or happiness as a source of motivation for your journey. Don’t let the voice of someone else being “better” or further ahead dim your voice of self-upliftment and encouragement.

Try this Quick Confident Boost Guided Meditation to help you restore your self-confidence, and to remind yourself of your worth. 

5. Reframe Worst-Case Scenarios

A lack of confidence is often rooted in the fear of failure. If we are channeling all of our thoughts and energy into imagining what could go wrong, our actions reflect that. We become anxious, more fearful, and feel doomed from the get-go. Instead of constantly picturing the worst-case scenario, acknowledge the fear and what could go wrong, and then let it go. 

Aliya recommends that you ask yourself if the worst-case scenario did happen, what then? Would it be that bad? Take hold of the situation by remembering that when you have to give a presentation at work, for example, no one in that room wants you to do poorly. When you succeed, so does everyone else. By breaking your fears down, they start to become powerless over you. 

6. Do It Despite Not Feeling Ready

It’s easy to get stuck in a mentality of not taking action or only trying to feel more confident “when you are ready”. Be present and accept where you are so that you can move towards that 2.0 version of yourself today. With small actions, such as ten minutes of exercise a day or introducing a meditation practice for a less anxious you, you’re able to start feeling more confident without waiting for a perfect time that may never present itself. Taking charge of yourself and your life is a decisive step in the right direction.

Confidence is a lifelong journey, and just like with anything you hope to achieve, you need to keep practicing and working through challenges. You will reap the rewards if you stay committed to challenging self-doubt, nurturing your self-compassion, setting empowering goals, and celebrating your achievements. Believe in yourself and your unique strengths. 

To boost your confidence with Aliya as your guide, join her 7-Day Confidence Boost Challenge. In less than ten minutes per day, she shares practical tools and techniques to develop your confidence and live the life you want.

All of the content on our website is thoroughly researched to ensure that the information shared is evidence-based. For more information, please visit the academic journals and other resources that influenced this article: The Effect of Social Communication on Life Satisfaction among the Rural Elderly: A Moderated Mediation Model; Public Speaking: Getting beyond the fear through the three P’s; Observations: Public Speaking Anxiety in Graduate Medical Education—A Matter of Interpersonal and Communication Skills?; From mental power to muscle power--gaining strength by using the mind