As a new mother, you'll likely experience a whirlwind of emotions and instantaneous changes in your life. While the journey of motherhood is packed with joyful moments, it can be challenging, especially in the beginning. Mental health for new moms is an important topic that is often not prioritized and in some cases even provokes feelings of shame, judgment, and guilt. Postpartum depression and baby blues are quite common and taking care of your mental health, making time for self-care, and access to education and tools to support yourself during this time of change are vital. 

Your mental health is key to your overall well-being, confidence, and capacity to love and feel loved. Amidst the beautiful chaos of motherhood, it's essential to recharge and nurture yourself, even if it feels few and far between.

These thought starters can help you embrace the opportunities to nurture your mental health as a new mom.

Understand the Impact of Hormones 

After nine or so months of growing, and carrying your baby throughout the three various trimesters, your journey reaches an end. Leading up to the moment of delivery and life after, your hormones are shifting to help your body nourish and prepare for new life.

Your body will need to rest, but at the same time, you are so busy as you navigate motherhood and learn to take care of your newborn. The period after having your baby has been referred to as the fourth trimester. During these 12 weeks, you and your baby are adjusting and getting to know each other. It may feel like a rollercoaster at times, but it should be comforting to know that with the many hormones circulating to find their way to a new “normal” post-birth, it’s common to experience a range of conflicting emotions.

Remember, our bodies and the way that we react to hormonal shifts and changes are all different, and what might feel normal to one can be different for someone else. To support your hormonal changes, try engaging with gentle and restorative activities such as light walks, meditation, stretching, and yoga. 

Postpartum Hormones To Be Aware Of

• Estrogen and progesterone are the two main hormones associated with pregnancy. They work together to support the development of the fetus and help your body change in the way that it needs to. These levels drop drastically after your baby is born, and this can lead to intense mood swings and in some cases, postpartum depression.

• With the changing hormones post-pregnancy, the thyroid hormones can also become inflamed and create a variety of symptoms such as anxiety and fatigue.

• Prolactin, which is the main hormone involved with milk production, can affect moods, digestion, and the immune system postpartum. This hormone also assists with your baby’s brain and lung development while you are pregnant, with progesterone levels preventing your body from producing milk until your baby is born.

• Oxytocin is key for getting the body ready for labor and moving the milk to the breasts for breastfeeding. Research on this hormone has shown that it impacts social behavior; helping you and your baby feel close or even creating an opposite reaction such as defensiveness. 

• Relaxin prevents the body from going into labor during the first half of the pregnancy, and later it starts to soften ligaments in preparation for delivery. It can take up to five months for relaxin to stabilize after having your baby, so it’s important to keep this in mind when exercising as you are more prone to spraining or overstretching the joints and ligaments.

Considering Postpartum Depression

Experts recommend speaking to your GP if the postpartum hormonal shifts tend to drag on and on as this could be a sign of postpartum depression. It could be a good idea to write in your journal - even if you only have energy and time for a word or two - to help you take stock of anything lingering. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and even though it’s not spoken about enough, research has found that around one in four women experience a major depressive episode during the postpartum period. It’s so much more common than one realizes. 

1. Be Patient With Yourself

As you start to find your feet in your new role, once easy things might feel a little more challenging. You are no longer able to just dash off at the drop of a hat, and even a “quick” stop at the shop for fresh bread or milk takes planning and packing. It’s important to see the humor in this, and a light-hearted approach can take the stress out of these activities. 

It can be raw at times; there might be an unspoken, unexplainable distance between you and close friends that don’t have children. You aren’t able to go out in the evenings without a whole lot of preparation, and even then, getting into bed late won’t mean that you can sleep in the next day or expect an uninterrupted night’s rest.

You can feel isolated and one-sided, but in this, try to become a “watcher” of your thoughts and situation. You may realize that it is by no one else’s doing other than your own, but be gentle. A lot is happening in your body as it digests pregnancy, breastfeeding, and beyond. Being kind to yourself and getting a hold of those limiting thoughts will help you acknowledge and understand how you feel. Speak to your friends and family so that they are aware of your emotional well-being and can be mindful and loving when you need it most.

Time will pass, and soon you’ll find it easier and easier to navigate your new normal. By being open and vulnerable about how you feel, you can help reduce the stigma and get support. It’s important to try and make peace with where you are so that you aren’t resisting what is. Use the tools around you such as support groups, psychologists, and online forums to help you embrace your new normal and find comfort with those going through similar things... You have to let go of some parts of who you were, embracing the little cracks to let the light of where you are shine in.

2. Create Your Community

You will soon realize that it is almost impossible to do everything on your own. The proverb “It takes a village…” could not be more true, yet many of us operate in silos when it comes to looking after our babies. The false illusions portrayed on social media of what it means to be a mom can be a toxic front that leads to unrealistic expectations that aren’t serving fellow moms. Try not to compare yourself to others, especially not according to the highlight moments that you see on social media. 

Having a circle, or even just one person such as your partner, family member, or close friend, that you can rely on to be hands-on and lessen your load will make a huge difference. Being able to share the daily duties such as making food, cleaning baby bottles, clothing, and food items, changing diapers, bathing your baby, taking the night shift, or even just watching the little one so that you can have a nap or a shower, will give you space to look after yourself and fill up your cup. 

Maybe you do have someone in your life that is helping, but you feel like they could do a bit more. Take a moment to speak out so that you don’t end up harboring feelings of resentment towards them or your baby. Having help around you will also ensure that there is someone who can give you feedback on your moods and overall being. If you don’t have someone you can lean on every day or for a few days a week, you can try to find this person or sense of community by going to mom’s group meetups or looking online for the right daycare, au pair, or nanny. 

It might be tough initially to let go of some of your responsibilities and time with your little one, but it is positive for your baby to have close relationships with others. What more could you want than for your little one to be loved by and to love as many as possible? 

The Buddhist saying, “In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of the things not meant for you” is a beautiful summary of what you can hold in your mind when you struggle with this.

3. Prioritize Self-Care Your Way

Taking time for yourself has the power to fill you up and refresh you so that there’s more. Just, more. Try to put aside what you’ve read about looking after yourself, hobbies, and self-love. When you prioritize self-care your way, you’re going to take a few minutes (set a timer on your phone if you need to) and think about the things that make you feel truly happy and rested. Don’t be hard on yourself if you struggle here - it’s completely normal to lose sight of things like this when you’re in new-mom mode. A set of studies have even shown that 78% of moms put off taking care of themselves to put others first.

Some ideas to get you started on some self-care could be: going for a walk outside while listening to a podcast, meditating in the garden, meeting up with a friend, reading your book on the beach, joining a restorative yoga class, attending an art or cooking class with a friend, or going on a date to a new restaurant with your partner. 

Once you have a few clear thoughts, be intentional about setting a time and date to do one of these things. Add it to your calendar regularly, with the same level of commitment and intensity that you would a work or doctor’s appointment.

You can try Dina Ghandour’s 7-day Yoga Challenge to kickstart a new, healthy habit. 

Being a new mom is an incredible privilege gift, but don’t be fooled, it’s incredibly hard at times and requires sacrifice. Making sure you have context and perspective of your situation allows you to understand the hormonal changes and risks of postpartum depression. Finding peace in the new season will give you a sense of contentment. You need to create your community for a trusted and supported space, and then, take the time to fill up your cup with self-care your way too. These four tips can be life-changing for the mental health of new moms, providing a mindful space for reflection, nurturing, and compassion for self and others.

All of the content on our website is thoroughly researched to ensure that the information shared is evidence-based. For more information, please visit the academic journals and other resources that influenced this article: HormonePregnancynancy; THE NEUROENDOCRINOLOGICAL ASPECTS OF PREGNANCY AND POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION; Enhancing Parenting Effectiveness, Fathers' Involvement, Couple Relationship Quality, and Children's Development: Breaking Down Silos in Family Policy Making and Service Delivery: Family Policy: Breaking Down Silos; Positive Relational Experiences in Infancy May Influence Outcomes in Children in a Low and Middle-Income Country Setting Such as South Africa; Postpartum Depression